#guess what i specifically dont do though

[icewindandboringhorror]

Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

[aroaceleovaldez]

Here is a link to the Cherokee Nation's official site. Here is the Visit Cherokee Nation youtube channel. Here is a playlist for learning Cherokee (and here's one for learning Ojibwe, as a bonus cause i'm biased). Here is a link to Daybreak Star Radio, which is a radio station based in Seattle dedicated to showcasing international first nations and indigenous music that you can listen to online. Here is a pdf of various recipes, including references to which tribes they originate from. Here is a link to The-aila-test's buy native tag, and here is a link to Beyond Buckskin's buy native list (though some of the links are broken). Here is a link to the Cherokee Phoenix newspaper's official site.

now go take a minute and come back once you've done some research so everybody can stop being weird about Piper.

[yellllowstar]

slowly I'm recovering the beauty of discovery

(creature by half•alive)

(textless + timelapse below cut)

[todayisafridaynight]

i’m pretty surprised that you can be in a fandom without really checking the tags regularly for new content or discussions that’s pretty impressive

ive got twitter for that and twitter has shown me enough as is

[rainsoftenings]

can i be honest i never thought the ending scene of monster was supposed to be tenma hallucinating. i thought it was diegetic

[ironmanstan]

school absolutely killing me mentally bc im learning sm but its like i have this huge equation i need to solve to punch up anything i make and it genuinely feels like when im actually doing math snd i cant keep all the number straight or visualize them at the same time or if i focus on one part i forget about the other part and i have to have it all laying out right in front of me and i know what to do in theory but actually working it out takes me so so long and its so exhausting

[dandyshucks]

okay i talked to a couple other parts in system abt it and they pointed out that i view characters differently than they do so maybe this is the same irt me vs other ppl outside of us too. under the cut for ppl who do not care and want to just scroll by (understandable and fair) HFDSJKL

i think i am ... very oc-brained and view canon as simply a jumping-off point/building block to use, rather than a rulebook to follow. and i also view characters as much more real than what the other parts in system view them, so this is likely true irt me compared to other ppl too. i know fictional characters are not real people, but there is sort of a space between Real Life and Fiction for me where characters that i latch onto often inhabit. they are fictional, but they grow (age and learn) much the same way real people do. i grew up very isolated from others so i spent a lot of time daydreaming and making up stories and characters to keep me company, and those characters would naturally grow with me because i needed somebody to go through experiences i was going through to connect with since i did not have peers for that. this is just the way i've always created and approached fictional characters fdsjkl and i forget that not everyone is like this.

so i think all this contributes to me not really realizing or remembering that other ppl do view their fictional characters as their source (the fact that people do this is not a bad thing nor a good thing, it is simply a difference in the way we approach fictional characters and that is okay! i am not trying to imply any judgment of any kind here, i'm just stating the difference). and because of this, i do not really realize that oftentimes when people say they age a character up to an adult for shipping purposes, they aren't really doing that in the way that would be okay (to my moral standards anyways, the brain gremlin is saying i have to state that morality is subjective and all of this is simply my opinion). like they are still the same character, just... with a different number of years alive assigned to them and maybe a different body. there's none of the actual growth and experience and maturing and change that happens as you get older and transition into adulthood.

all this to say i think where i'm getting tripped up is that i forget that i approach characters differently than others and often think that everyone is doing it the same as i am when that is not the case. my autistic ass when Theory Of Mind trips me up yet again ( -_-;;)

[ethereousdelirious]

This is so stupid but like. There have been fics where I've wanted to go into more detail about the process of being admitted to the hospital through the ER, but skipped it bc I couldn't find any good in-depth sources to make it realistic. But there frustrating part is that I've BEEN admitted to the hospital through the ER, I just can't remember the important parts 💀💀💀

[gibbearish]

btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest

[moving-to-dreamwinged]

my dad came in and saw me on the couch (for the first time all day and i had literally just sat down for less than a minute when he came in) w heating pad and immediately goes "you have two options" (different chores to do) (as if i was like 10 years old and getting punished for something that i didnt even know i did wrong). what about secret third option where you treat me like an adult or i don't come home for winter next year. Lol

[icewindandboringhorror]

I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...

Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner

*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)

And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -

TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows

This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).

So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.

Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.

Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.

Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).

But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).

In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.

Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.

Now, doing the same thing for movies-

Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)

That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).

116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.

So, a for broader summary stuff..

I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.

If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.

ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.

I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0

[sonknuxadow]

so ready for bramblestar warriorcats to retire in approximately 3 days

[orcelito]

Like. Ok. It's a big part of why I've separated myself from t.ristamp fandom more since finishing the manga. I just. The way a lot of the fans over there interact with the show is just so very different from what it means to me. And this is especially evident with how they treat Vash.

The "babygirl", the sweet sly sexy trans guy who is soooo innocent and small and meek and a total doormat, would never ever Ever say anything mean Ever, just total sunshine and daisies all the time (unless he's sad and then he's a pathetic wet meow meow who has to be bundled up and doted on until he's happy again, poor Baby)

I'm being dramatic here but like... also not? Some people really do characterize him like that, and it drives me up the wall.

I love Vash for his complexities. The way he contradicts himself. He's a staunch pacifist, but he gets angry enough a few times to be tempted to kill. He's goofy, yet haunted. Sweet, yet bitchy. And oh GOD he loves being an annoying little shit so much. He's jaded, yet hopeful. Resigned at the state of the world, yet still working to make it better. Plays the idiot, but is a total badass when push comes to shove. And for all his frequent childishness, he really is quite mature. That soul deep maturity that he achieved over a century and a half of struggle and strife, countered by his wish to just have Fun...

You see? These are two entirely different characters. After truly getting to know the 2nd (mainly manga vash, though 98 has some aspects of it too), the first just. Really falls flat.

And this. Is why. I need to stop reading t.ristamp fic. Bc more likely than not, I'm going to be disappointed.

[nabaath-areng]

It's funny how my psychiatrist and psych nurses are all so supportive about my as of yet undiagnosed physical issues and do their best to keep those in mind when we discuss my care. Meanwhile GP and qualified doctors either tell me to "not compare my googling to their medical degree" or go all "yeah EDS sounds quite likely actually but there's no point diagnosing that since it cannot be cured anyway"

[anti-transphobia]

If anyone wanted to know what it's like to be a trans person not aligned with masculinity online, I've had such a huge issue with both cis and transmasc people calling me dude and then arguing about it when I asked them not to that I had to set my nickname in discord servers as "don't call me dude/man/bro". That wasn't enough so I changed it to be in all caps and set my overall discord display name as "DONT CALL ME DUDE/MAN/BRO". Within a few hours I was @ed on a server I never talk in, a server where most of its members never talk because it's a mod development/compilation server so people are there for information and that's it, by an any pronouns trans person who hasn't spoken in that server in a YEAR and talked again specifically to misgender me

[bitegore]

every so often i have to really wonder about the people who watch me talk about how badly i want someone to let me hurt them and fantasize about murdering imaginary characters i like and somehow assumes i'm a sub primarily and wants to be killed and chased and not, like, do the killing and chasing